Why nothing external will make you happy

There is nothing external you can do that will fundamentally change your state.

Deferring life enjoyment until an external problem passes assumes it will pass, and nothing can take its place. Problems are never ending.

We're covering why the external can't make you happy, what people mistakenly believe, and how to actuate the change you desire.

What do people mistakenly believe and chase?

People make the error of believing that one day it will finish.

They think, “If I can work enough, then one day I can rest.” Or, “I'm doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life.”

It never finishes, problems never cease. Life is problems.

You probably believe like I did that if you had an amazing physique you wouldn't be insecure about it anymore. This couldn't be further from the truth.

Many fit people are insecure about their body, and that's the very reason they're in shape. The most insecure people do the most to solve their insecurities.

So as somebody who's achieved some people's physique goals, I'll tell you there's no body you can achieve which will sate your insecurity.

The process of destroying body dysmorphia and insecurity is the same regardless of how fit you are.

Nothing external fundamentally changes the internal.

Money won't make you happy. It will solve your money problems, but you've got more than just money problems pal.

A partner won't make you happy. In fact, relying on a partner to be happy will repel them.

Life is a single-player game. You are born alone in your mind, and you die alone in your mind. It's all internal; the winning is internal.

I'm not suggesting to be a 'lone wolf' type and a social retard. Who you spend time around is incredibly influential on your life.

The premise of the 'rat race' mentality is the idea that you must work full-time in your job and climb the corporate ladder all to save for a future retirement.

There are several flaws with having this as a basis for how you live.

First, why do you need to defer your life satisfaction until you're old? The answer is you don't. Whatever you think you'd do with your life after retiring try right now for at least 1h per day. You may even find you don't like it and would have sacrificed your entire life for no payoff. If you can't do it right now, make it tangible. Write all the costs and requirements for that outcome; the dollars and cents, monthly income, and any prerequisites.

Second, why do you need to climb the corporate ladder? This idea has 2 major problems: It implies you can't/shouldn't change jobs AND assumes you need a job. There are no rules saying you can't job-hop. Yes, if you job hop long-term it'll look odd on your resume, but especially in the early career nobody gives a fuck. The benefits of job hopping are that you get diverse and useful experiences which give you skills and perspective (know what you like, and what you don't like). The second problem was it assumes you need a job. Something that irks me about modern society is that it's so job-centric. The idea that's pushed is everything should be in service of your current job, or getting a job in the future. How were the jobs created? Entrepreneurs. A society that discourages entrepreneurship and innovation will collapse.

Why can't the external satisfy you?

Believing catching what you chase will make you happy is a fallacy.

The satisfaction you want is internal.

When you solve the problem you think will change everything, another comes to your attention. Life is problems.

This is the subjective reality humans exist in. Our brains are wired to survive not thrive. We are subject to the threat-seeking brain evolved to keep the species alive.

There will always be threats and problems the brain can identify, this never changes. Life as a human is problem-solving.

That's why the external won't satisfy you. Believing that on the other side of solving the problem in front of you is a fundamental change of state is wrong. There are only more problems on the other side.

People use their goals as a scapegoat to avoid the real work. They believe making more money or getting a partner will make them happy. When the real problem (for example) is the way they talk to themselves and their identity.

When they achieve the goal nothing changes, so they assign the symptom to a new external problem.

How can I chase the right thing?

What you chase is a state of being. It's how you feel, how others interact with you, how you interact with the world, and what you think of yourself.

The false belief is that the state you want is on the other side of money, a girlfriend, a physique, status, etc...

Nothing external is requisite for a state of being. In the same circumstance one person may be anxious, and the other relaxed. The anxious believes peace is on the other side of the problem, the other has the problem but also peace.

People will also sacrifice the very thing they're solving for. For example, the person who spends all their time working so they can make money and buy back their time. They'll then work more so they can buy back more time.

You need to analyze the problems you're trying to solve objectively.

Write what you believe is on the other side of your goals: How do you feel? How do you interact with others and the world?

Every answer you describe is possible right now. Break down the internal problem from first principles to discover the real work.

The version of you with the most potential of the one who isn't limited by internal conflict and problems. It helps the external goals if you solve internal problems first.

You find happiness in the chasing, not the catching. The man who loves walking will walk further than the man who loves the destination.

Optimize for enjoying the chase because 99% of your life will be exactly that. The moments of achievement are sparse and transient.

For the inputs which lead to your goal(s) ask yourself: What would this look like if it was fun?

If you enjoy the game you'll keep on playing.

I recently implemented a practice because of this question which I've found quite helpful.

I used to wake up with the minimum amount of time possible before I had to go to school/work. Now, I give myself an hour to complete a few tasks that take less than that.

If the start of the day doesn't have an unnecessary sense of urgency I feel much more relaxed. I'm more consistent in my routine since there's no undue displeasure to wake up to.

Lubricate the friction towards performing the actions for your goals.