Ignore Everyone

Why do you let everybody have power over your life?

When framed like that it's obviously a bad idea, yet you still listen to people you shouldn't.

We'll cover why you should ignore almost everyone, deciding who to ignore and listen to, and several false obligations.

Why do you need to ignore others’ advice?

When people give advice to you, it's almost always from the frame of what they would do in your position or how they want you to be.

Advice that originates from both these frames is going to be bad.

The reason for that is if you follow their advice it's towards their goals along their values.

For example, a family member tells a businessman he needs more balance in his life. That could be good advice assuming the businessman was optimizing for lifestyle and valued the time outside work over inside.

However, it's only good advice if the assumptions are true which they often aren't. The businessman could be optimizing for performance and enjoying his time working, in which case it's terrible advice.

The family member's advice assumed he had the same values and goals as them.

The vast majority of all advice you'll receive in your life falls under this category.

Often times people’s desires aren't even their own. Society influenced them so heavily they're given desires they didn't create.

The majority of the population is a victim of this. They are playing a game someone else chose for them.

If you're playing someone else's game, you lose your own by default.

Most people spend their whole lives trying to win a game they didn't choose. Make certain that doesn't happen to you.

Most people optimize for job titles. How fucked is that?

Your next day at work ask yourself: Is this all life has to offer? Most people optimize as if their job is the penultimate human experience.

For some their job is fulfilling and worthwhile, but most people who optimize for their job don't even enjoy it much.

Live up to your own standards. Judge yourself on an inner scorecard, not an external one.

Don't live according to the game your mother, father, friends, partner, or anyone wants you to play.

Most people's advice, judgements, and opinions on your life are just noise. The signal-to-noise ratio is terrible for the majority of advice you'll receive.

How do I decide who to take advice from or ignore?

We've covered what bad advice is, so naturally good advice is the opposite.

Bad advice is from people who are advising you towards their goals and values. Good advice is from people who advise you towards your goals and values.

To recognize good advice you need to know your goals and values. If you don't know that you're walking in the dark, and will probably get derailed by bad advice.

Most people don't believe your vision for the future is possible: Where do you think their advice gets you?

The best type of person you should look for advice from is somebody who has already achieved your goals and is ahead of you.

It's not your parents, or anyone else. Forget your bullshit compulsion to heed their advice.

You do not owe anybody that power over you. You don’t owe me it either.

If there aren’t any aspects of myself you admire and want to grow towards then don’t listen to me or my content.

It's possible to learn from anybody: they could have parts you admire, and parts you dislike. Either way you can go towards or away from them, thus learning.

However, because you can learn from anybody that doesn't mean their advice is good.

Yes it's possible for people below where you want to be to have good advice, but it's rare. There's a small signal in a lot of noise.

As a principle: only take life advice from people who are where you want to be.

Ignore the crowd, focus on the ball.

The mirage of obligations

There are no rules in life. Society makes a good attempt to establish them, but they don't exist.

A lot of people are entirely captivated by the rules society sets. They live by an intangible creed.

The rules you live by are paramount.

Set your own rules, those are your values. Don't allow them to be chosen for you.

Society pushes obligations onto you as well. Most of them are mirages; they appear real but don't exist.

You aren't obligated to take the advice of your parents, or family members.

Your relation to somebody doesn't make their advice good. They probably have good intentions for you, but aren't ahead of you in the goals you strive towards.

They don't have the perspective to give good advice on how to get your goals.

You aren't obligated to tell people your goals either.

I believe it's best to navigate life by showing not telling. Telling people about your goals, especially before you start them is a bad idea.

You get the validation and lose motivation. Replace saying “This is what I'm going to do” with “This is what I've done”. Show don't tell.

You aren't obligated to tell people your reasons.

People will ask about why you do certain things. They may be curious, or scrutinizing you. Either way you don't owe them the reason.

I've had some of my extended family gawk at the fact I'm into Muay Thai and Boxing. They don't understand; they think it's a bunch of stupid guys punching each other in the head repeatedly.

They ask why I'm interested, implying through their tone there's no possible good reason.

Instead of giving an elaborate reason and trying to convince them I said “because I like it”.

Giving the reason as “I want to” or “I like it” is a powerful frame to be in especially if their question was meant to undermine.

That is reason enough, you don't need to debate the pros vs. cons with them. Don't care if they're convinced; this is simply how it is.